The crossroads

Life is a journey through the twilight, with crossroads at every corner. Some will just lead you onto a similar way as you had been following before, others will change the direction of your life forever.

Two months ago, I bought a house. It is probably the biggest decision of my life and I took it in quite a short amount of time. I will get the keys on Monday and have eagerly been counting down the days ever since I decided to make an offer for it (I have even made a calendar like Harry did for Hogwarts). At the time, I shortly weighed all the options and saw it as the best way forward. I still do; but now that it is coming closer, I am starting to have cold feet.

The implications are huge, I am responsible to earn a steady income in order to keep it. I have to sign a cohabitation agreement with my boyfriend so he can inherit the house if I die. I have to make up my will so that in case I die, and my boyfriend dies 3 minutes later, the house will go to my parents. To be honest... that freaked me out a little.

Me and J. (my boyfriend) have been together for over 6 years and have lived together for more than a year. His unpredictability and his challenging character have always drawn me to him. For some reason, I gravitate towards weird and complicated people. They are great characters to study, I would not be able to live and love a 'normal' person. We have been very happy together but still, is it really a smart idea to sign a cohabitation agreement together? 

In the end I am sure it is, I have always had cold feet on the eve of a large change. I have always managed fine. For me, it is still the best option and my heart tells me it's right.

As a writer, I love to review these internal struggles. Why do I feel this way? Why do I have these doubts? It allows me to learn more about my own character. At the same time, I feel I can understand more about the ways of the human mind, which has always been a great source of inspiration for my writing. I love to follow my character's spiritual journey. I linger on the crossroads, to see what it does to their feelings and how ultimately, it makes them grow. I make them doubt, so in the end they can become stronger.

If you are a writer, what are your ways to make your characters grow? Do you like to write crossroads? How important are they to your story?

Once upon a time...

...there was a young woman who liked to tell stories, but mainly told them to herself because she was afraid no one wanted to listen to them. She told stories about the ways of the world, about young people living in that world and the confusing battles they fight. This young woman thought writing was nice as a hobby, when there was time, but other than that she left her inner voice unused. She hardly let anyone hear her stories, there are so many stories in the world to tell... She had other talents and obligations to focus on like getting her life started, an exciting job, family, and most of all a challenging boyfriend whom she loves more than her life.

This young woman is me. There are three huge pillars in my life that I try to balance the best I can. Stories, love and science, not necessarily in that other. With stories I associate everything from reading to writing and plotting. I love reading, and since last year I have picked up on writing once more. I started writing again during National Novel Writing Month last year and recently finished the first draft of the novel I started then. Love, I guess, basically speaks for itself. The last one,  science, is the final big part of my life. I love doing research (I work for a consultancy company in the pharmaceutical industry) and have academic discussions and I honestly cannot live without constantly learning new things. The world is such a complex place, I do not believe a human has ever learned enough about it to be satisfied.

As these three pillars are so different, I find it difficult to put all the things together at times. However, I have decided it is time to use my story telling voice more often and find out what it's worth. So this blog is step one of using it and balancing the stories with the other pillars of my life

 I have spend the pasts months reading up on other people's blogs about writing, and I am very grateful for their insights. It has encouraged me to start my own and share my stories about life. I have discovered, a long time ago, that the internet is a great place to share stories and to develop new insights, and also to meet new friends. 

So dear reader, I humbly thank you for visiting my blog. My first question to you is, how do you manage the pillars of your life? Do you have any tips to share to show more of your inner story teller? How do keep yourself from getting caught up too much in only one of the pillars?