Life is a journey through the twilight, with crossroads at every corner. Some will just lead you onto a similar way as you had been following before, others will change the direction of your life forever.
Two months ago, I bought a house. It is probably the biggest decision of my life and I took it in quite a short amount of time. I will get the keys on Monday and have eagerly been counting down the days ever since I decided to make an offer for it (I have even made a calendar like Harry did for Hogwarts). At the time, I shortly weighed all the options and saw it as the best way forward. I still do; but now that it is coming closer, I am starting to have cold feet.
The implications are huge, I am responsible to earn a steady income in order to keep it. I have to sign a cohabitation agreement with my boyfriend so he can inherit the house if I die. I have to make up my will so that in case I die, and my boyfriend dies 3 minutes later, the house will go to my parents. To be honest... that freaked me out a little.
Me and J. (my boyfriend) have been together for over 6 years and have lived together for more than a year. His unpredictability and his challenging character have always drawn me to him. For some reason, I gravitate towards weird and complicated people. They are great characters to study, I would not be able to live and love a 'normal' person. We have been very happy together but still, is it really a smart idea to sign a cohabitation agreement together?
In the end I am sure it is, I have always had cold feet on the eve of a large change. I have always managed fine. For me, it is still the best option and my heart tells me it's right.
As a writer, I love to review these internal struggles. Why do I feel this way? Why do I have these doubts? It allows me to learn more about my own character. At the same time, I feel I can understand more about the ways of the human mind, which has always been a great source of inspiration for my writing. I love to follow my character's spiritual journey. I linger on the crossroads, to see what it does to their feelings and how ultimately, it makes them grow. I make them doubt, so in the end they can become stronger.
If you are a writer, what are your ways to make your characters grow? Do you like to write crossroads? How important are they to your story?
I fully believe that our characters take a life of their own, whether or not we intend them to, they shape their stories as much as we (read: the writers) do. We may nudge them to the crossroads but as it often turns out, they do not always follow suit. I love crossroads in stories, just as I love them in life: they shape who we are and force us to think of what we want to become.
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